Lovable Loser

Once upon a time ..... back in the early days of man ..... back when you couldn't watch TV shows on your phone or computer; heck, back when you didn't even have a portable phone or computer; back when there was no such thing as the internet; back when there was no cable or satellite TV to bring hundreds of channels into your home; yes (no sense denying it) back when I was a teenager ..... way back then there were only a precious few channels available in any particular area, and you needed to attatch this funny-looking thing called an antenna to the roof of your house to more clearly see those channels. In days such as these a sports fan like myself (from day 1 of my life) found the options for sports programming to be, to put it kindly, limited. So please forgive me that in days such as these if, in order to satisfy my need for sports, I turned to the wild and wonderful world of pro wrestling. 

I don't remember exactly when I was told that pro wrestling wasn't really real, all just an act; but when I was, I didn't care. It's the thought that counts, right? I was satisfied in the knowledge that although all those holds weren't actually causing as much pain as the wrestlers/actors were making it look, they could and would cause a tremendous amount of pain if they really wanted them to.

In this part of the world back then pro wrestling was brought to you by the AWA in the form of their weekly telecast of "All-Star Wrestling"; and even if it wasn't real, it was usually entertaining and often hilarious. Other than one feature match each week, almost all of the matches were total mismatches, with the promotion's roster of stars - good and evil - rolling to quick and easy victories over the also-rans, good and evil.

But not all of the losers were completely incompetent. One of ASW's most lovable losers was a man known as George "Scrap Iron" Gadaski (photo on left of a YouTube screen shot from a match in 1976); and no matter which notoriously evil villain he had to face, whether it be Bockwinkel or Stevens, Rhodes or Murdoch, or Ivan Koloff, or the claw master himself, Baron von Raschke, ol' Scrap Iron usually put up a good fight and gave his opponent a run for his money before ultimately and always losing ...... Of course, by now you're probably asking what any of this has to do with dreads. And the answer would be ... nothing ... other than that I may have found the current-day version of the lovable loser ..... and he has dreads!

About 4 months or so ago I was searching for something on YouTube, and now I honestly can't remember what is was .... because once I got distracted I immediately ceased that search and never went back to it. It was a video of one of the matches of MMA fighter Calvin Glover (photo on right) that snatched my attention; and after viewing it, I just had to go back for more. So I looked up Glover's record on the Tapology.com website ... and what I found was almost impossible to believe ......

Glover never wins ... literally, never. After each and every one of his pro fights Calvin has stood and watched the arm of his opponent raised in victory, as it was after his 2nd career fight, vs. Derik Scott on May 10, 2019, in the photo above at the top of the page. And this isn't pro wrestling either, where it is scripted for you to win or lose. There's nothing fake about MMA. The punches are real, the kicks are real, the submission holds are real, the pain is real. I mean, this is a sport where your opponent is at best trying to knock you out cold and at worst trying to put you in a hospital. Broken bones are not uncommon. Every time you go into the cage you're trying, if not expecting, to win. Like someone once said, "You play to win the game. Hello".

But Glover does not. In his 10 career professional fights Calvin is a perfect 0-10; and what was really amazing - and alarming - when I first saw his results was noticing that all 10 of his fights ended before the 1st round was over. Indeed Glover is no Scrap Iron Gadaski. Calvin goes down to his defeats barely breaking a sweat - and without making his opponents break a sweat either. And it is for this ineptitude that he is currently is ranked third from bottom of all the lightweight (155-pound division) fighters (more than 1,000 in all) in the United States. Actually the rankings change every day, and there have been many days where he has been dead last.     

Glover's matches have that familiar repetitiveness to them. Seemingly if you've seen one you've seen them all. Calvin starts out fine, getting in a couple of punches and/or kicks; but once his opponent gets his hands on him it's pretty much all over. Soon he gets taken down to the mat, and soon after that he gets mounted from the back - at which point he just covers his head (see photos on left, in his pro debut vs. Michael Aquila on Apr. 26, 2019, and right, against Landon Quinones on Aug. 23, 2019) and waits for the end to come. A couple of times the end has come with him being struck by a torrent of punches. But mostly - 7 of his 10 losses, in fact - it comes with his opponent's arms around his neck, a simple rear naked choke that causes him to quickly and helplessly tap out (photos below, vs. Scott on the left and Aquila on the right). 

 

So, what is it that makes Glover a lovable loser and not just a loser? Need you even ask? It's those dreads (!) of course. Most boxers and MMA fighters with long dreads usually and massively reduce their dreads for their fights. For example, take a look at boxer Omar Douglas in his fight against Edner Cherry from 4 years ago (photo on left below). When you're putting your life on the line, it's a pretty good idea to do whatever it takes to make sure there's no chance of your dreads moving around all over the place and impairing your vision. But Calvin, bless his heart, is taking none of that good advice. Every time he goes into the cage he's got his dreads going all full blast - either barely restrained (photo on right below from his Feb. 29, 2020 match vs. Thiago Belo) or just flowing completely unleashed (photo on right above vs. Scott). Obviously this is not recommended; but it sure makes it a lot of fun watching him, even if it is only for a few seconds. I guess he figures he's not going to be fighting for long anyway, so why bother wasting all that time braiding them together.  

Glover has not been totally winless throughout his career. Before he turned pro he was victorious on at least a couple of occasions as an amateur. In fact, there's proof of victory in this video (link below and left photo below) of a match from 8 years ago (when he was 21 years old, and his dreads maybe 3 years old) in which basically nothing happens until he suddenly explodes in closing seconds of round 1 to get the TKO. And before losing a 2017 match in the 2nd round, in the 1st round Calvin actually attacked his opponent from his back, trying to arm bar him into submission (right photo/screen shot below).

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZKwNjwmPrY 

But ever since beginning his pro career the losses have been coming fast and furious. In his debut against Aquila (video on first link below) Glover made it about halfway through round 1 before being choked out. None of his fights since that one have gone more than 100 seconds. His 2nd fight - 2 weeks after the first - only went 71 seconds; but go ahead and check out the video anyway (second link below) because this was one of the times his dreads were completely loose (photo below from the end of the match vs. Scott).

https://www.facebook.com/DynastyCombatSports/videos/331730377487401

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Um2m3YDji38 

Before falling to 0-5 five months later - also in 71 seconds - it was determined Calvin had his fingernails too long and they needed to be cut shorter before he was allowed inside the cage (left photo and first link below). In that match and also in his 8th pro fight (vs. Belo, right photo and second link below) Calvin had his dreads tied back at the start, but they were all loose by the time it was over.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qP9CHbfjYj4 

https://www.facebook.com/100052607203288/videos/895190197566954 (first match on the video)

After 8 defeats in 10 months, the pandemic put a temporary halt to Glover's futility; but he was able to get in a couple more matches before 2020 was over. All has been quiet on the 2021 front so far. Maybe he has finally gotten the hint that he's not very good at this. The only result on his record for this year came from about 3 months ago, when he got his pro boxing career started. The fight ended - that's right, you guessed it - with him being TKO'd in the 1st round. But, of course, his dreads still looked great, even though they were tied back more than usual.

Hopefully Calvin's career isn't winding down just yet. I mean, he can't go out without at least one W. Hopefully it won't be in vain, but I'll still keep waiting, keep hoping for that glorious moment when he survives the 1st round - and for the even more glorious day that he finally loses that '0'.