If you are familiar with the annual NFL forecasts of my crystal balls over the years, you're probably thinking that the title of this post is fitting for those forecasts every year and not just this year. Used as an idiom, "for the birds" means - nicely put - something than can and should be discarded as useless. Well, my forecasts haven't always been useless. My original crystal ball (CB, for short) correctly picked the Super Bowl winner twice in 8 years. After CB went into retirement, my second crystal ball (CB2) took over the forecasts starting last year - and mostly whiffed on its first try. But CB2 is rarin' to go with its 2017 forecast, eager to make up for the 2016 forecast that left a lot to be desired. But, I'll tell you, it'll take a leap of faith - or, in this case, a flight of faith - for anyone to trust this forecast, because CB2 thinks you'll be wasting your money if you bet on any of the usual suspects.CB2 ain't talking about "for the birds" as an idiom. It means it literally; that is, CB2 is for the birds. And not those dirty birds down south either. Or those birds way out on the west coast or the ones in the desert. According to CB2, when Super Bowl 52 kicks off next February in Minneapolis, the two teams playing in it will be the Philadelphia Eagles and the Baltimore Ravens.
I hear you laughing; but laugh at your own risk, says CB2. With rookie Tim Williams (photo above) leading a fearsome pass rush, the Ravens' defense will carry the team, while the offense will improve as QB Joe Flacco's health does. As for the Eagles, the strong start they had last year will turn into a strong whole season this year, especially now that QB Carson Wentz has a bit more experience and a lot better receivers. CB2 is predicting an improbable victory over the Dallas Cowboys in Week 17 will propel the Eagles to a 1st place finish in the rugged NFC East. But after advancing to the Super Bowl, the Eagles will be denied their first championship since 1960 by the Ravens, who will hoist the Vince Lombardi Trophy for the third time in franchise history.
CB2 also is predicting that the Arizona Cardinals and Carolina Panthers will join the Eagles and Ravens as teams to make the playoffs this year after missing them last year. And according to CB2, San Diego's loss will be Los Angeles' gain, as the Chargers will flourish in their new home and take the tough AFC West. CB2 likes the two teams who faced off in Super Bowl 51, the New England Patriots and Atlanta Falcons, to be very strong again - only to stumble in the playoffs. The Minnesota Vikings are ineligible for the Super Bowl, of course, because they are hosting it (and because Sam Bradford is their quarterback). CB2 also expects the Buffalo Bills, Cleveland Browns, and San Francisco 49ers to battle it out for the first pick in the 2018 draft.
Last year CB2 - making all of its picks before the season started - picked the correct winner in 146 of the 256 regular season games (a .570 win percentage). That's 8 wins fewer than CB did in 2015, although overall CB2 graded out slightly better. Eight days ago CB2's 2017 forecast came through loud and in crystal clear HD. I'm sorry to wait until the last minute like this to post it, but I've been busy with some other stuff. So without any further delay, here's how CB2 is calling the 2017 NFL season, including some of the craziest Week 17 finishes ever. As always, CB2's exact words will be in italics.
AFC EAST
1. NE 15-1
2. MIA 9-7
3. NYJ 5-11
4. BUF 3-13
CB2: Jay Ajayi rumbles for 223 yards and 4 TD rushing as Dolphins rout Bills 40-10 in Week 17 and claim final AFC playoff berth.
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AFC NORTH
1. BAL 13-3
2. PIT 12-4
3. CIN 7-9
4. CLEV 3-13
CB2: Signed at mid-season, DeAngelo Williams makes first start in Week 17 and rushes for 234 yards and 3 TD for the Ravens as they crush Bengals 33-6 to edge Steelers for division crown.
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AFC SOUTH
1. HOU 10-6
2. TENN 8-8
3. IND 6-10
4. JAC 5-11
CB2: DeAndre Hopkins catches 10 passes for 210 yards and 3 TD to go over 1,000 yards for the season as Texans clinch division crown in Week 15 with 27-16 road win over Jaguars.
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AFC WEST
1. LAC 10-6
2. OAK 9-7
3. KC 8-8
4. DEN 7-9
CB2: With Chargers and Raiders tied in Week 17 thriller, Raiders have 1st and goal on first possession in overtime when Seth Roberts' 5-yard would-be game winning TD catch is nullified by illegal formation penalty. On next play Jason Verrett intercepts pass intended for Michael Crabtree in end zone for touchback. And on next play Melvin Gordon races 80 yards for his 4th TD of game to lift Chargers to 44-38 win and division crown, knocking Raiders out of playoffs ..... Moments later Jamaal Charles caps spectacular 259-yard rushing day against his former team with 75-yard dash to the house on first play of overtime as Broncos defeat Chiefs 26-20 to knock KC out of playoffs and give Dolphins final playoff spot.
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AFC TIEBREAKERS
Chargers clinch #3 seed over Texans due to better record in conference games (LAC 8-4, HOU 7-5)
Dolphins clinch #6 seed over Raiders due to head-to-head victory in Week 9.
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NFC EAST
1. PHIL 10-6
2. DAL 10-6
3. NYG 9-7
4. WASH 6-10
TIEBREAKER: Eagles clinch 1st place due to better record in division games than Cowboys (PHIL 4-2, DAL 3-3)
CB2: In Week 17 nail-biter at Philly, Eagles fumble away opening kickoff of overtime. On next play Dak Prescott hits Dez Bryant at 10-yard line, but Bryant is stripped of ball by Ronald Darby, who scoops up fumble and races 87 yards down sideline in front of Cowboys' bench for touchdown and 34-28 win that knocks Cowboys out of playoffs ..... 15 minutes later Brandon Marshall's 5-yard TD catch on fade route against Josh Norman sends Redskins-Giants game into overtime. Then Marshall's 70-yard catch and run on first play of OT gives Giants 1st and goal at 5-yard line; but on next play Paul Perkins fumbles at 1-yard line, and D.J. Swearinger's recovery and 102-yard return to the house gives Redskins 33-27 win that clinches division crown for Eagles and knocks Giants out of playoffs, once again denying Marshall his first playoff appearance.
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NFC NORTH
1. GB 12-4
2. MIN 7-9
3. CHI 5-11
4. DET 4-12
CB2: Kevin King intercepts DeShone Kizer on first play of overtime, and 3 plays later Davante Adams' 17-yard TD catch gives Packers 22-16 win at Cleveland that clinches division crown in Week 14.
NFC SOUTH
1. ATL 12-4
2. CAR 11-5
3. NO 6-10
4. TB 5-11
CB2: In Week 17 barn burner at ATL, Devonta Freeman scampers 24 yards for TD on 4th and 1 with :33 on clock to lift Falcons to 24-23 win over Panthers and their 2nd straight division crown.
Now CB2, you do know that that Falcons have never ever finished in 1st place two years in a row, right?
CB2: Read my lips: Falcons win 24-23. ATL TWELVE AND FOUR, got it?
OK. All right. No need to get all snotty about it.
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NFC WEST
1. SEA 11-5
2. ARIZ 10-6
3. LAR 6-10
4. SF 4-12
CB2: In winner-take-all battle in Seattle for division crown on Sunday night in Week 17, Shaquill Griffin gets his 1st career INT, picking off pass intended for Chad Williams in end zone on 4th and goal in final minute as Seahawks hang on for 23-19 victory over Cardinals. But losses by Giants and Cowboys earlier in day allow Cards to grab last playoff spot.
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NFC TIEBREAKERS
Falcons clinch #1 seed over Packers due to head-to-head victory in Week 2.
Cardinals clinch #6 seed over Cowboys due to head-to-head victory in Week 3.
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PLAYOFFS
ROUND 1
- LAC over MIA
- PIT over HOU
- PHIL over CAR
- ARIZ over SEA
- BAL over LAC
- PIT over NE
- PHIL over GB
- ARIZ over ATL
- BAL over PIT
- PHIL over ARIZ
- Ravens 20 Eagles 17 (MVP: C.J. Mosley)
CHANGES FOR 2017
EX-DREAD
With short dreads becoming ever more popular each year, there is an overwhelming number of players I'm welcoming to the house this year. We'll get to them in just a second. But there are quite a few players who have left the house too. Here's the list of players who have cut their dreads off since the end of last season.
- Arik Armstead (SF)
- Daren Bates (TENN) (although it looks like he might be growing them back already)
- Jayon Brown (TENN, rookie)
- Chris Conley (KC) (photo below.... that he donated his locks for charity is admirable, but it doesn't make me any less unhappy)
- Najee Goode (PHIL)
- Timmy Jernigan (PHIL)
- David Moore (SEA practice squad, rookie)
- Olsen Pierre (ARIZ)
- Shane Ray (DEN)
- Hakeem Valles (DET practice squad)
- Xavier Williams (ARIZ) (photo below)
- Howard Wilson (CLEV, rookie)
NEW DREADS
It's impossible to keep up with everyone who has started growing dreads either during last season or after the season was over. Hopefully I didn't miss anybody, but there's a good chance I have. As far as I know, these are the players getting set to play their first full season with dreads.
- Nat Berhe (NYG)
- Eric Berry (KC) (unfortunately already suffered season-ending injury in season opener)
- Bashaud Breeland (WASH)
- Michael Brockers (LAR) (photo below)
- Jamon Brown (LAR)
- Deon Bush (CHI)
- Jamie Collins (CLEV)
- Demario Davis (NYJ)
- Todd Davis (DEN)
- Kenyan Drake (MIA)
- Garry Gilliam (SF)
- Demetrius Harris (KC)
- Trey Hopkins (CIN) (photo below)
- Akeem Hunt (KC practice squad)
- Cyrus Jones (NE, already on IR list)
- Denver Kirkland (OAK, on IR)
- Roger Lewis (NYG)
- Brandon Marshall (NYG)
- Tyrann Mathieu (ARIZ)
- Leon McFadden (DAL, on IR)
- Jerick McKinnon (MIN)
- Patrick Onwuasor (BAL)
- Brian Quick (WASH) (photo below)
- Sheldon Richardson (SEA)
- Rashard Robinson (SF)
- DeAnthony Thomas (KC) (photo below on left, with Demetrius Harris (#84) on right)
- Dekoda Watson (SF)
- Damien Williams (MIA)
SAME DREADS, NEW THREADS
As the number of players with dreads in the NFL keeps increasing, so does the number of players with dreads changing teams during the offseason. This is the largest list I've ever had of players who had dreads last year that will be wearing uniforms of different teams this season. Their teams from last season are listed first, followed by their current teams, which will underlined.
- LeGarrette Blount (NE, PHIL)
- Tre Boston (CAR, LAC)
- Josh Bynes (DET, ARIZ)
- Brandon Carr (DAL, BAL)
- Jamaal Charles (KC, DEN) (photo below ..... say it isn't so!)
- Will Clarke (CIN, TB)
- Kaelin Clay (BAL - IR, BUF)
- T.J. Clemmings (MIN, WASH)
- Sammie Coates (PIT, CLEV)
- Johnathan Cyprien (JAC, TENN)
- D.J. Fluker (SD, NYG)
- Stephon Gilmore (BUF, NE) (photo below)
- Jonathan Grimes (HOU, JAC)
- Davon House (JAC, GB)
- Ricky Jean Francois (WASH, GB)
- John Jenkins (SEA, CHI)
- Zach Kerr (IND, DEN)
- Eddie Lacy (GB, SEA) (photo below)
- Marshawn Lynch (SEA - retired, OAK)
- Cordarrelle Patterson (MIN, OAK) (photo below)
- Julius Peppers (GB, CAR)
- Lafayette Pitts (MIA, JAC)
- Dontari Poe (KC, ATL)
- Calvin Pryor (NYJ, JAC)
- Andre Roberts (DET, ATL) (photo below)
- Nickell Robey-Coleman (BUF, LAR)
- Jabaal Sheard (NE, IND)
- D.J. Swearinger (ARIZ, WASH) (photo below)
- Cedric Thornton (DAL, BUF)
- Erik Walden (IND, TENN)
- T.J. Ward (DEN, TB)
- Sammy Watkins (BUF, LAR) (photo below, he'll wear #12 during regular season)
- Markus Wheaton (PIT, CHI)
- J.J. Wilcox (DAL, PIT)
- Tramon Williams (CLEV, ARIZ)
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BEATING THE ODDS
If you're a rookie and you weren't drafted, you have little chance of being on the opening day 53-man roster. But as usual a handful of players don't take 'no' for an answer and earn their way onto to team. Here are the ones with dreads that did it this year.
- Deyshawn Bond (IND)
- Jamal Carter (DEN)
- Trey Edmunds (NO)
- Tion Green (DET)
- Jaylen Hill (BAL)
- Cole Luke (CAR)
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That's all, folks. I usually do a couple of other features in my NFL preview; but I just didn't have the time this year. I apologize for that.
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